James Bland ( (no email) )
Thu, 18 Feb 1999 21:02:16 -0000
For all you computer buffs... I thought this was really cute.
>>>Computers will never be completely "idiot proof" because idiots continue
>>>be so resourceful. The following is an excerpt taken from a Wall Street
>>>1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press
>>>Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key is.
>>>2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard
>>>to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the
>>>the mouse was packaged in.
>>>3. Another Compaq technician received a call from a man complaining that
>>>the system wouldn't read word processing files from his old (5 1/4")
>>>After trouble-shooting for magnets and heat failed to diagnose the
>>>it was found that the customer had labeled the diskettes, then rolled
>>>into the typewriter to type the labels.
>>>4. Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective
>>>A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with
>>>of the floppies.
>>>5. A Dell technician advised his customer to put his troubled floppy back
>>>the drive and close the door. The customer asked the tech to hold on,
>>>was heard putting the phone down, getting up and crossing the room to
>>>the door to his room.
>>>6. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to
>>>anything. After 40 minutes of trouble-shooting, the technician
>>>the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the
>>>monitor screen and hitting the "send" key.
>>>7. Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no
>>>worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with soap & water &
>>>the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and washing them
>>>8. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged
>>>because his computer had told him he was "bad and an invalid". The tech
>>>explained that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses
>>>shouldn't be taken personally.
>>>9. A confused caller to IBM was having troubles printing documents. He
>>>the technician that the computer had said it "couldn't find printer". The
>>>user had even tried turning the computer screen to face the printer - but
>>>his computer still couldn't "see" the printer.
>>>10. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her
>>>new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged in,
>>>the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button.
>>>Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing
>>>The "foot pedal" turned out to be the computer's mouse.
>>>11. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand-new
>>>computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in
>>>sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what
>>>happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked "What power
>>>12. True story from a Novell NetWire SysOp:
>>> Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"
>>> Tech: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"
>>> Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty
>>>period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"
>>> Tech: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"
>>> Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."
>>> Tech: "Please excuse me if I seem a bit stumped, it's because I am..
>>>Did you receive this as part of a promotion, at a trade show? How did
>>>get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"
>>> Caller: "It came with my computer, I don't know anything about a
>>>promotion. It just has '4X' on it."
>>> At this point, the Tech Rep had to mute the caller, because he couldn't
>>>stand it. He was laughing too hard. The caller had been using the load
>>>drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder, and snapped it off in the
>>>13. Another IBM customer had troubles installing software and rang for
>>>support. "I put in the first disk, and that was OK. It said to put in the
>>>second disk, and I had some problems with the disk. When it said to put
>>>the third disk - I couldn't even fit it in..." The user hadn't realized
>>>that "Insert Disk 2" meant to remove Disk 1 first.
>>>14. In a similar incident, a customer had followed the instructions for
>>>installing software. The instructions said to remove the disk from it's
>>>cover and insert it into the drive. The user had physically removed the
>>>casing of the disk and wondered why there were problems.