National Condom Week Slogans



     Cover your stump before you hump.



     Before you attack her, wrap your whacker.



     Don't be a loner, cover that boner.



     You can't go wrong if you shield your dong.



     If you're not going to sack it, go home and whack it.



     It will be sweeter if you wrap your peter.



     You won't get sick if you wrap your dick.



     If you go into heat, package your meat.



     If you take off her skirt and blouse, wrap that trouser mouse.



     Don't be a fool, vulcanize your tool.



     Don't be in such a jiffy, cover your stiffy.



     AIDS is no joke, be sure to wrap before you poke.



     Even though you're tired and sleepy, take the time to wrap your pee-pee.



     You know you shouldy wear a condom on that woody.



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                                The Law and Condoms



       Germany - Methodical  Germans  have  rules  for  everything else and

       they've now come up with a CONDOM code!



       Henceforth, condoms must be AT LEAST 6.4 inches long and 1.96 inches

       around, be either smooth or have small  bumps, and may come in pink,

       black, green, blue, red, yellow or orange.



       Germans, however, aren't  alone in dictating how condoms  should  be

       made.



       The British Standards  Institute  requires  condoms  to be a wee bit

       shorter than the German models.   But  THEY'RE  FATTER  -  a  full 2

       inches around the middle.



       And there are no color restrictions, just a requirement  the condoms

       come with a full set of instructions on how to use them.

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                    from a letter uploaded from a "friend"



    TROJAN CONDOM COMPANY

    6969 SLIPPERY ROOT DR.

    DROPTROUSER, NC 22269



    Dear Jerry,



         We regret  to  inform  you  that we have rejected your recent

    application to model and represent  our  product,  Trojan Condoms.

    Although your general physical appearance is not  displeasing, our

    Board of Directors feels that your wearing of our product does not

    portray a positive, romantic image for our product.



         A loose,   baggy   and  wrinkled  condom  is  NOT  considered

    romantic.  We did admire your efforts to firm it up by using Poly-

    Grip, but even  then  it slipped  off  before  we  could  get  the

    photographs taken.



         We would  like  to note however, that we have  never  seen  a

    penis that looked like a bicycle grip until now.



         We appreciate  your interest and thank you for your time.  We

    will retain your  application  for  future  consideration,  if  by

    chance we decide that there is a market for Micro-Mini Condoms.



         We send  greetings  and  our deepest sympathy  to  your  wife

    and/or girlfriend.



                                                     Yours very truly,

                                                        Burly Dick,

                                                     President Trojan



    Condom CompanyBD/peeP.S.



    Remember our slogan:  Cover your stump before your hump-

                          Don't be silly protect your willy-

                          Before you attack her, wrap your whacker-

                          If you're  not going to sack it, go home and

                          whack it!!!

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