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The Top 16 Things Overheard at Psychic Jeane Dixon's Funeral
16) "Ms Warwick, please stop talking to the deceased."
15) "Now we'll NEVER know who's going to win the Oscars!"
14) "I'm thinking of a passage from John Chapter 3 between 1 and 20."
13) "You're next, you know."
12) "Quiet down, everyone! I can't hear a word Jeane's saying!"
11) "I'm going to miss the way she always knew the outcome of each Matlock."
10) "The woman predicted Kennedy's assassination, for cryin' out loud -- you'd think she'd have known how hideous she'd look in that dress."
9) "I spoke with Jeane this morning. She wants me to have her BMW."
8) "Wait, I'm seeing it -- yes! The number 8 entry on tomorrow's Top Five List will be a self-referential psychic quote thing by Alexander Clemens of San Francisco."
7) "I see a world plunged in darkness. What the--? Hey! Somebody, get me outta this box!"
6) "She looks so supernatural."
5) "Since we all know what the eulogy's going to be, let's cut right to the coffee and sweet rolls."
4) "I see a drunken reception in my near future."
3) "Light as a feather, stiff as a board... light as a feather, stiff as a board..."
2) "Wait, I'm seeing... yes, I'm seeing... worms!"
and the Number 1 Thing Overheard at Psychic Jeane Dixon's Funeral...
1) "Who knew?"
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